Defiance and Short Term Memory

One of the areas in which individuals with attention challenges often struggle involves the accomplishment of tasks with multiple steps or components.  This is an issue that can mistakenly been interpreted as noncompliance, or intentional defiance, which can escalate into arguments at home.  While every child is unique, and driven by their own motivations, much of the time when inattentiveness is involved, it's not a matter of choosing to complete or not complete a multifaceted task.  Instead, it's a matter of the information not staying in Short Term Memory long enough to use.  As such, an excellent strategy is to break tasks up into manageable components.

Instead of telling your child to, say, clean their room, (a task with multiple components), instead break it up into one or two steps at a time.

The first task might be, "Please pick your clothes up off the floor and put them in the right hampers.  Remember, whites go in the blue hamper, and colors go in the orange hamper.  Come back to me once this is done."

Notice how small and direct that is?  Each time your child comes back, they get another piece of the whole, which makes even big tasks manageable.  It's also a great way to decrease frustration and increase self-esteem, as each successfully completed component is an excuse to positively reinforce with praise.

Before your child leaves to do the task, do a reality check.  Make certain to have your child repeat what was just said, "now what did I ask you to do?"  Doing a check is important as you will be helping your child develop the skill of rehearsal, repeating and fully processing the information before taking action.