It's not always easy to stay positive when the element of inattention is something you have to deal with every day. But it's important to remember that even though your child might "seem" like they don't hear you half the time, they are picking up more than you might imagine. As such, word choices are very important, and all too often parents get into an accidental habit of saying negative things or making negative statements without even realizing it.
Even seemingly harmless things like, "Well, you know how Clayton is!" Or, "Yeah, that's not something Jennifer is probably going to be able to do", can have lasting consequences on a child's perception of themselves.
Instead, we can change statements from negatives into positives. In the first example above, "We've had a lot of success with Clayton doing it
this way, haven't we Clayton?" Right there you're highlighting a positive, and not only that, involving the child; including the child in the conversation instead of making a statement
about him.
In the second example we can do something similar, "That sounds like fun, but if you wanted to try something new, Jennifer and I really enjoy doing this."
Obviously these are very broad examples, but the point is to take stock of the way thing are expressed verbally, and look at how the phrasing might be interpreted not only by your child, but by others hearing you talk about your child. It really can make all the difference.